Donnie doles up.

Doncaster's clearly had enough of being the forgotten part of South Yorkshire and is pulling its municipal finger out.

Its just unveiled its new logo and is busy branding itself like its a new perfume or something. Not for them a Hull-style halfhearted stick-it-in-the-bottom-corner attitude. This lot are determined to plaster the region with the thing. To make people remember the place is more than just a good racecourse.

The boys at Ayup are always pretty scathing about the branding thing. You should hear them after a few Stellas, banging on about how companies use techniques developed by Nazi Germany to reinforce the corporate world view on something called the proletariat.

That's when I make my excuses - just after telling 'em that the finest exponents of branding in the country are their beloved football teams. Don't believe me? Try setting up business in Leeds with a bright red logo. Unless you're McDonalds or KFC you'd get run out of town on a rail...

So what's Donnie up to then?

Well it's all quite mundane really. Dash of hand painted graffiti with the obligatory committee chosen slogan. Sound familiar? It's the Yorkshire logo all over again - dodgy typography with one of the letters given some sort of figurative treatment, then some snappy sloganeering bunged on the end of it.

You just know the original ideas were bright and colorful, but the committee found all that lime green and Chartreuse a little brash. So the colours got muted and dulled, until they settled on a nice nonpolitical neutral that still figured on the Crown paints matchpot chart. Lilac. There's a nice color.

And lets choose a slogan that'll fit right in with the Friday night curry and a fight binge drinking crowd in their Ben Sherman shirts. A slogan that perfectly encapsulates a half dressed, barefoot slapper chucking up her voddy and RedBull in the bus station.

"Discover the Spirit" is a line that sums up what is wrong with these big-time small-townies. Is this spirit served neat, on the rocks, or drowned in the latest trendy alcopop.

There's always talk of trying for city status, as if the populace are suddenly going to embrace other cultures and traditions, and devour art and literature overnight.

Too urban to be country and too country to be urbane, the forward thinkers in the council who are thinking of these fine schemes have a big job changing the realty of town life.

To me Bradford's fabulous attempt at achieving 'City of Culture' status shows the way towards real re-branding. To me Bradford is genuinely trying something modern and different, and in doing so is developing a personality that is very distinct.

Aye, big pat on the back for the Donnie council types who are trying to get the place out from under. The nasty stench of payola that still lingers from the Donniegate trials (which made Doncaster the epitome of of old-school old-Labour old-blokery) cirtainly needs a gust of fresh air to shift it. And fair play to the buggers for having a go.

If I know branding this new logo means every last council bin wagon is going to be painted white white white and they are going to discover the hard way that white shows the dirt. A highly impractical colour unless you're handy with a hosepipe. To keep the image fresh and bright they are going to be having to do an awful lot of scrubbing...

B

PS - Rotherham Council's website has been a roaring success over that last few months. So what do they do? They mess with it that's what. If anyone from Rotherham Council is reading this, make bloody sure your idiot web design team checks the site on a Mac this time...